Mutual Invitation - EL1

Eric Law's Mutual Invitation process


The Process:

In order to ensure that everyone who wants to share has the opportunity to speak, we will proceed in the following way:

The leader or a designated person will share first. After that person has spoken, he or she then invites another to share. Whom you invite does not need to be the person next to you. After the next person has spoken, that person is given the privilege to invite another to share.

If you are not ready to share yet, say “I pass for now” and we will invite [you to share later on]. If you don’t want to say anything at all, simply say “pass” and proceed to invite another to share. We will do this until everyone has been invited.

We invite you to listen and not to respond to someone's sharing immediately.  There will be time to respond and to ask clarifying questions after everyone has had an opportunity to share.

(from The Wolf Shall Dwell With the Lamb by Eric H. F. Law)


Because there will be participants with different perceptions of power, facilitation that exclusively uses the “volunteer style” of interaction that favors those from individualist cultures excludes those whose interactions favor a collectivistic culture. Therefore, the Mutual Invitation process is used in order to insure that everyone who wants to share has the opportunity to speak when the catalyst gives the instruction to do so. As group members become more accustomed to using this tool, they make connections with everyone in the session, because they are required to invite each speaker by NAME. The person who is invited may or may not be someone from whom she/he ordinarily wants to hear. When Mutual Invitation is used, it encourages deep and holy listening to one another, because there are no interruptions or refutations allowed until every- one has spoken who wants to speak. It is important to remember that in some cultural settings, group members will not speak up in a discussion unless they have been invit- ed. The reasons for this may be gender- or age-related or other traditions embedded deeply in one’s culture.
There may be those who are uncomfortable singling a person out to share. For them it may feel like when they were a child and were being selected (or not selected) to play on a team. There are two safeguards built into the process that can assuage people’s fears. One: each person invited has three options: share, pass for now (which means “I am not ready, please come back to me”), or pass (which means “I do not chose to share on this topic”). However, no matter which option is selected, the one invited has the privilege of inviting another person in the group by NAME. Two: Throughout the process, the invitation to speak passes back and forth, and no one is left out of the process.

GracEconomic consideration: Each time you use one of our tools such as Mutual Invitation for your ministry, and it enhances your community interaction, please consider making a donation to KI so we may continue to offer our resources to more and more people. Click here to make a donation.

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